[BOOK REVIEW] Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Rating: ★★★★☆ 4.25 stars

Genres: Contemporary, Fiction

Trigger warnings: depression, implied suicide

“Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James Lee, and her parents are determined that she will fulfill the dreams they were unable to pursue. But when Lydia’s body is found in the local lake, the delicate balancing act that has been keeping the Lee family together is destroyed, tumbling them into chaos.”

Everything I Never Told You is a profoundly moving story that revolves around a mixed Chinese-white family and their life before and after the death of their favorite daughter Lydia. Marilyn Lee is someone who wants to be different; she wants to break apart gender norms and become a doctor. James Lee is someone who has always felt different, and looks for any way to fit in with American society. These two are attracted to one another for opposite reasons: Marilyn is drawn to James because he is different, and James is drawn to Marilyn because she fits in. Their three children, Nath, Lydia, and Hannah, also struggle to live in the toxic environment their parents have created in their home. James and Marilyn played favorites, neglected some of their children, and attempted to live the lives they never had through their children. As we explore each character’s perspective before and after Lydia’s death, we see the consequences of their lack of communicating their dreams, fears, and hopes to each other.

“And for the moment, this is everything they need to say.”

I enjoyed reading Ng’s writing and found the story to flow rather well! Her storytelling doesn’t rely on the mystery surrounding Lydia’s death to capture the reader. Instead, Ng employs the emotions of her characters and the complex family dynamics to drive the story. I really liked how we got to see each character’s perspective and their internal struggles, hopes, and dreams. 

I found that I really disliked James and Marilyn for how they treated their children and essentially projected their dreams and expectations on their children. I hated how they played favorites and outright neglected Nath and Hannah. James and Lydia put all their expectations into Lydia: they expected her to become who her parents could never be. The toxic environment they created for their children shows how problematic it is having high expectations for your children and attempting to shape them into who you want them to be is.

I sympathized with the Nath, Lydia, and Hannah, but I couldn’t relate to any of their experiences (which, if you think about it, is probably a good thing?). I did understand their frustration with not being able to tell their parents how they truly feel, but couldn’t connect with any of them beyond that.

On another note, I really liked how this story emphasized how important communication is in any type of relationship. The Lee family dynamic shows the consequences of not communicating the most important aspects of one’s life: miscommunication, misunderstanding, and even trauma. We have parents who want the best for their children yet who never really understand their children’s hopes and dreams. We have three children who want to tell their parents who they really are, but fear disappointment. We have a family that has a hard time communicating their needs, fears, dreams, and hopes, and they suffer the consequences of it.

Overall, Everything I Never Told You is a moving and tragic story about death, grief, racism, and the consequences of not voicing your truest thoughts and feelings to your loved ones. I enjoyed reading this book and recommend everyone to read it!

- lian